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If only …

Friday, 29 September, 2006

Since the night following the questionable election, the world has heard little from Del Farnsworth. The electors from Ohio, South Dakota, Califonia and Texas were suspended from the Electoral College convention following the revelation of their state’s corrupt voting practices. I still can’t find a satisfactory answer as to why Florida was not similarly honored. Much of the heat on Farnsworth transferred to Governor Schwarzenegger following the “last chapter in the Enron scandal” and his subsequent emigration back to Austria. Your reporter was among the Americans stunned to realize he wasn’t that much more eloquent speaking German.

With the exception of two domestic television interviews, one with host of the Universal’s NBC Nightly News Keith Olbermann, the other billed as Barbara Walters’ last interview, the world has heard little from the President-Elect in the last two months. Indeed as early as last night Fox Infochannel reported that his whereabouts were unknown. We’ve been told he and his staff have been diligently working to prepare the Executive Office for the turnover and “a new era”, whatever that is supposed to mean.

You’d think I’d be all excited about Fox’s turnaround under Greg Palast, but I’m not quite so certain.

BBC America quoted on their news Sunday night a report stating Farnsworth was at his home in Champaign, IL. We now know that was false and perhaps a deliberate diversion planted by the Secret Service. We now know that the President-Elect and three Secret Service officers checked in the Fairfield Inn in Laurel MD Thursday night. Exactly how this did not leak remains a mystery. Of course, all this minutia is not what drives me to post.

Those of us who share my mix of optimism and cynicism anticipated something dramatic for his inaugural address. This, however, I did not expect.

My fellow Americans, I come before you on this day not to reclaim America’s role in the world, but to set a new path. A path defined by authentic justice and the grace for which this nation was once known.

Mr. President …

Farnsworth turned from the lectern to address his predecessor. He was joined by five armed men. We soon learned they represented each of the five Armed Forces.

in the name of the people of The United States of America, and in accordance with my responsibilities under the rule of law, the Hague Conventions and the Geneva Conventions, you are under arrest.”

and the men lead Mr. Bush away into The Capitol. Exactly the nature of Bush’s whereabouts at this hour remain unknown. These next words shall ever haunt me. “We have much work to do.” and he walked away. While the typical parades and parties were held following, the President was not in attendence. I never thought I’d see the day.

Here’s the latest rumored appointments. Fill in the blanks.

Office Secretary State
Secretary of State William J. Clinton New York
Secretary of the Treasury
Secretary of Defense John S. McCain III Arizona
Attorney General
Secretary of the Interior Norris McDonald Maryland
Secretary of Agriculture
Secretary of Commerce
Secretary of Labor James P. Hoffa Michigan
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alfred C. Sharpton Jr.  New York
Secretary of Transportation
Secretary of Energy Albert Gore, Jr.
Secretary of Health and Human Services
Secretary of Education
Secretary of Veterans Affairs Charles Sheehan-Miles Virginia
Secretary of Homeland Security to
be eliminated

Some of these positions appear more symbolic than functional, and I am hoping very few of the rumors are true.

Even if the cabinet looks like this next month, they could not possibly do any worse.

The DJIA closed at 14285 today. Maybe …

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