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Hamburger Diaries: Note 20 July ’10

Tuesday, 20 July, 2010

It appears the Hamburger Diaries are proving popular. That is, the two proper reviews I’ve done are drawing as many views as my old articles on the utility-body sedan and the production history of air-cooled Volkswagens.

Research upon how ‘Burgers are discussed via internet continues, but my humble missives appear to be the only ones focusing upon the produce of chain restaurants. I’m sure the $20 plate at Authentic Dive Bar and Grille™ is really wonderful, but it will be a while before I get down there. Particularly if it’s in Ukraine or Idaho or some such place.

My fascination with the automobile continues unabated; I tend to consume media to satiate this desire. Most recently said media consists of reviews and observations about fantastic and allegedly desirable automobiles, many not available in the US at any cost, with cutting edge gadgetry and a 0-100 time of four seconds and so on. While that’s cute, I’m still awaiting James May’s assessment of the similarly unavailable Dacia Sandero. I want The Smoking Tire to give a “value edition” Chevrolet Cruze or Ford Fiesta the treatment. I’m not exactly holding my breath waiting for any of this to happen.

While I remain as old, cranky and unpopular as I was the month I was preemptively dissed from the Fiesta Movement, I realize people want to know about the mundane. I won’t be driving the latest edition of the Nissan Versa anytime soon so I’m sticking to something else I know.

Henceforth and wherefore and whatever: The Hamburger Diaries shall focus upon chain-restaurant burgers within the other requirements.

  • “No chains with a presence in most of the continental United States …” is hereby revoked. Wendy’s, McDonalds, and so on are fair game.
  • “No table-service chains.” Your host maintains that the objective of the Hamburger is moot when served at a table in a culturally sterile environment. However, the “widely copied” exception remains.
  • Over 30% of the proper reviews within the Diaries are guest reviews. These are now explicitly encouraged. I remain an asshole about style, but shall readily link to reviews hosted elsewhere within the other requirements.
  • Stand alone restaurants, especially places which specialize in ‘Burgers, shall be considered on a case by case basis.
  • Non-quick-service chains will be considered on a case-by-case basis. “Road food” gets points, faux urban has no credibility here.

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